I am reviewing Whitney Phillips' blog on her softball game entitled "Game Time"The content was not exactly descriptive and didn't really draw me, as a reader, in. I could tell she rushed to write this blog and she ran out of things to say. This was apparent in the ways that she really did not describe certain things as well as she could have and also how she rambled about their team and their next game. I didn't like how she commented that she didn't know if they were a good team or the opposite team was just bad. She should know that her team is good and defend why they are and have more confidence in all their hard work they have put in to getting the team to where it is competitively. Also I don't think that using smiley faces in an English assignment were appropriate because it makes the reader not take you seriously. Finally I did not like how she used so many oooooo’s in some words. I think that makes the reader feel like they are reading a note between two little school girls who have some juice gossip.
However I do like the way she told the scores for both the matches her team played in that day. This information makes the reader have team spirit for her and her team mates. Also I liked how the girls, fans, and coaches cheered each player on as they battled against the college Young Harris. When she described the weather, I thought she did a great job at throwing in the softness of the wind and that it was just right except for the humidity. Over all I think she did a good job!
Thats all for now!
~Ali
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